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[May. 22nd, 2007|09:44 am] |
So. Lately I find myself liking to look at pretty girls. Actually, it's more enjoyable when I'm having one of my "good" days ie; feel reasonably thin, wearing pretty clothes, well rested, yada yada....Is it mere aesthetics? O r some kind of unrequited sapphic lust? I don't think the latter, I don't fantasize about lesbian sex, more on the lines of sitting in a serene environment, while lithe nymphs float and dance around scantily clad. I look at beautiful men too. but if they catch me doing it , it then becomes a less passive game. I would rather be the objectifier than the object any day. Women will gaze back at me, and hold it unself consciencely for a beat, before looking away. No confrontation, all soft and safe.
Just thinking..... |
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I check out girls so much, my boyfriend has started commenting on it. I check out way more girls than he does. And I'm 100% straight.
was discussing this today...andy asked do girls get jealous of other girls breasts like guys do about other males "length"??
I told him, ....for girls it's more admiration/jeaslousy of the entire package, the body as a whole not just one specific area.
i dunno.
I'm pretty straight I think...I don't have any desire to have sex with a woman, (although..I've had a couple of questionable experiences). I like to look at pretty things too though. Not just women. If it's super pretty, you can count on me staring at it for a long time.
And..If a woman is showing cleavage I can't help but stare. It definitely doesn't turn me on or anything though.
God, that makes me sound like I'm in denial or something. Really I'm not ;p
Though I do happen to think a woman would be a better "life-partner" than a man, simply because women relate to each other on a level that men and women never really can.
GUESS WHO???! Here's a lil pic for you to look at, my lil face!!!
I'm back and I am so pleased to see you still active!
I love you Krista!! Sorry this is so late, but it's good to see you.
hey. i was going to reply to the comment you left me, but it wouldn't let me because i am no longer a member of the community... but you said something about how often people purge in terms of recovery... i was under the impression that nobody did that. i have no idea why i thought that, i'm an idiot i guess. because some girl today was talking about how she binged and purged on wednesday. that scares me. you know? but i don't think that will necissarily happen to everything.
That's a good question, There have been times where i went several months with no episodes, but as soon as i slipped again, I was back at it with a vengeance. I had a therapist who told me that my "ALL OR NOTHING" attitude was a set up for failure, time and time again. I guess because my experience with drugs, alcohol, and smoking made it necessary to just stop abruptly, and stop for good. Food is an entirely different addiction, from what I hear, and you almost have to expect a relapse once in a while. That may not be the case for you, though. You seem like you really want to get better, and maybe the fact that you don't really purge as in vomit, might make a difference. After all, exercise is positive, in moderation....puking really isn't. | |