a lot of people don't realize that sometimes after time, maintaining a healthy connection with another person is not exactly always easy -- and on top of that simple feat, we have things like horrible disorders, day-to-day bullshit annoyances, huge upheaval life matters, blahblahblah to deal with. i'm engaged, so i'm really not even testing the waters right now. we're fighting really hard to be able to be together because we live in different countries so i'm lucky, i've got the fairytale brushed off right away given my situation all ready. that said, i think what i'm trying to reallllly say is that it's really hard, and you're allowed to hate it at some moments, because you're human like anybody else and a piece of paper or a changed last name doesn't change the fact that sometimes circumstances can drive a person up the wall at given times.

i'm thinking of you.

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Thank you, I needed to hear that. Sometimes you just want someone to nod and understand, rather than try to offer some miraculous advice. I can only imagine what it's like to be so far away from the person you want to be with, although the cynical married side of me thinks that putting a country between us might not be a bad idea, temporarily. Your comment made me feel better, I'm glad you're on my list. :)

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haha. i always joke with my fiance that in a few weeks of living with me he'll be wishing he could ship me back up here, :D. i think some people don't realize that marriage is a little more than a bad boyfriend-girlfriend deal. saying "just go then" isn't very helpful for something that is such a big lifelong (or supposed to be) pact. also, goddamn, sometimes you just wanna punch the person in the face. i'm the kind of person who doesn't leave something until it's completely and utterly not worth fighting for, but until then, i think that once in awhile (and sometimes for long times) we have to do a lot of miserable, up-hill clawing to get to where a better place is waiting, you know?

:D i'm glad you're on my list too, but charlie knows fantastic people. i figure any friend of hers is a sexah intelligent beast, like yourself.

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Hey there doll baby! What's the problem in the marriage? ONe big thing or a lot of littles?

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It's mostly stupid little shit, mostly about money.Buuut....and it's a big but, it's affecting our sex life, because I'm always mad. He's been mean to me, and i've been sleeping way over on my side of the bed. It hurts my feelings and makes me really sad Krista!! *sigh* I think it will probably work out, I just hate that he takes out his stress on me and the kid.......

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I've missed you.

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i know that often your marriage is one of the things on your 'things that make frieda's world go round list' too.

i think relationships are just one of those things.

♥

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hey, I am hating my marriage at the moment too, it is pure fucking hell, we both walk around avoiding one another tiptoeing like two kids. It is so difficult to say I am through. The other day You wrote me and said about the numbing effect bingeing had on your emotions, I couldn't have said it better. Last night I was really in a situation where I couldn't binge and my husband and I are not on speaking terms and it was awful I couldn't cope I needed to block it all out, the pain, the anxiety, the madness. I am so sorry if this sounds soppy, I am at a crossroads and I cannot make a decision about anything, I feel I am strong to have suffered this much and not have given in, and yet I am so weak and fragile (now thats soppy) but it is true. I hate my life right now, my marriage is in tatters and I am so close to ending it, I just will a way out, just a new start. How is it possible to have so many emotions at once and not be able to articulate any of them? I think you would understand. I also feel that although it would be great to pack my bags and say cheers it is just impossible, don't ask me why, I don't the fuck know why? Sorry for the long dreary post, just need to let off steam.

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