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friedapearl

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Hmmmmm [Jun. 13th, 2007|09:10 am]
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Thanks to everyone who responded to my question about medication....I have no health insurance, but there are options for a certified crazy-ass like me....

I miss my sister terribly today, for some reason....She's been dead for  almost 17 months to the day, and it still knocks the wind out of me to think about it.

I'm taking some little girls swimming today, ages 10 and 11, but going on 25. Yikes. The reality of budding sexuality is disconcerting, I always thought I would calmly answer questions when it came to that but i find myself stuttering and stammering, while they stare, unblinking, and watch me squirm. It freaks me out to notice 13 and 14 year old boys glance at my daughter's changing body. I HATE teenage boys, I'd like to drown them one by one.....

I'm taking a break from the community(s), there seems to be either a lack of tolerance on my part, or an influx of rampant stupidity, or maybe a little of both. Anyway, it's not productive or supportive for me, or vice versa.

I'm too seasoned and cynical, and my patience wears thin. I'm just a mean old bitch, and it's too late to change.....I think I'll probably keep this journal for a while, we'll see........

Love you all.
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Comments:
From: tenderbeast
2007-06-13 02:55 pm (UTC)

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yeah i stay away from ed communities. i understand why it's comforting to read people going through the similar things of our daily lives, but in the end, it brings me nothing and when it does, it's usually anger/frustration/reoccurring realization of how pathetic my existence can be because it revolves around things so fucking stupid and lacking. so yes, i think taking a break is good. you should join good ones - photography and poetry, daily inspirational quotes or things that apply better to you. it helps, to concentrate on something other than destruction.

and i understand about your sister. time does nothing for a loss that is always evident, no matter how much of it passes. it's hard to miss someone that will never return again in your view, it's a strange yearning. *hugs*
[User Picture]From: [info]friedapearl
2007-06-13 03:02 pm (UTC)

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You're absolutely right. I've let things get too one-dimensional and focused on the negative and the miserable for too long. I need to branch out. Talking maniacally every day about puking is demoralizing.
From: [info]yggdrasill
2007-06-13 03:35 pm (UTC)

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[info]kittypix!

One of us, one of us.
[User Picture]From: [info]friedapearl
2007-06-13 03:41 pm (UTC)

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That's too precious *smile*
[User Picture]From: [info]cafe_dulce
2007-06-13 06:36 pm (UTC)

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I too am taking some time off of the communities. I started to be attacked just a little too much more than I could bare. I know it is the internet, but when you go somewhere to bare your soul and someone tries to bite your head off...it just changes.
Teenage boys. What is the difference between teenage boys and "men"? I have yet to figure that one out. Haha!